Worker's Conference - Leadership

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

today spent the whole afternoon at worker's conference. this is probably one of the best and most memorable conferences i've attended in all my life in FGT. basically all my life ler.

started off with Datuk Paul Low. He's some big shot political/economical leader/pioneer in the country. the difference with him is he constantly makes stands for righteousness' sake. next was Shelton Johnson. shared from my favourite bible character- Joshua. shared about the calling of god and our responses. powerful message. i knew there was a reason i liked joshua. maybe i'll name my son joshua next time. he's a man who responded to god even though he didn't have the burning bush experience. So long as we know that god has called, don't keep looking for spectacular signs ler...yup. don't doubt the calling of god. lastly was of course pr. Hong Seng. showed us the importance of looking for the person who will serve. he gave this acronym:

Learning posture
Excellence
Anointing
Disciples
Energy factor
Relational skills
Servanthood and shortfalls

how true. many times people want to call themselves leaders but they refuse to be a disciple. i'm beginning to realise how important humility in leadership is. God opposes the proud. it's true. when we refuse to acknowledge our sins or weaknesses, we don't allow authority to speak into our lives. don't get me started on authority.

well, after these 3 speakers shared, we heard 3 testimonies from the pastors of FGT KK, London and Melaka. these testimonies was my sort of "breaking point". really touching ler. they were sharing about their churches and how god was blessing their churches. there was a sense of jealousy at that point. on one hand, i was really happy for them coz they made it through, they didn't give up, they produced fruit. on the other hand, i look at myself and ask why i can't be like them. it's sad knowing i'm called to be like them yet i still can't even be disciplined enough to pray regularly or to love people like jesus loves. it's something i need to repent constantly of and surrender to God. (if you are an FGTian reading this and have always been in your own church, i challenge u to visit the branch churches. it's really a different experience knowing god is working elsewhere, knowing how much the leaders at the branch churches have sacirficed just to be there to give their all. you just cant' help begging god to bless them and their efforts. visiting FGT KK has been a real eye opener for me spiritually. Go!)

after that we had a time of prayer. prayed in groups of 5. my group consisted of: aunty prema, grace, menghong and uncle rafael. this is one really special prayer for me. a first if i might add. when we started praying in tongues, tears just started streaming down my face. i KNEW at that moment that if i were to pray anything out loud, i would definitely burst into tears so i waited till the last hopefully the tears would stop. well, i still did burst into tears though the tears significantly dried up by that time. this has NEVER happened to me before. was sobbing uncontrollably halfway through my first sentence k. felt so weirded out man... was exhausting though. i guess i was just so sad that though we have such a big task ahead of us, there's still so many obstacles- people, circumstances... there's still so much nonsence (sometimes) that goes on that just makes serving the lord so tough and mind boggling. yes, we're serving together but somehow there's mistrust, there's unwillingness, there's no transparency. how can we win the world if we cant' even trust each other? hmmm... then i realised, (eventually) things aren't going to change unless i change. i got a sense that everything, this whole responsibility rested solely on my shoulders. if i don't pray, nobody's gonna pray. if i don't love, nobody's gonna love. it's really not dat bad but it feels dat way. just like wat my dad said a while back, god is just looking for that ONE person who will decide to stand in the gap, to run between the living and the dead. well, guess what, i want to be that person. nobody said it was easy, but if it kills me, i'm gonna try. it just takes ONE person.